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Los huevos fritos

Un buen día, un hombre, en plan amable, buen rollo, le está friendo unos huevos para el almuerzo a su mujer.

De pronto, la mujer entra en la cocina y a grito pelao le dice:

«¡Cuidado… CUIDADOOOOOOO! ¡¡NO ME LO PUEDO CREER!! ¡Pon un poco más de aceite! ¡POR DIOS!.

Estás cocinando demasiados al mismo tiempo. ¡DEMASIADOS! Dales la vuelta… Dales la vuelta ¡AHORA!

Necesitamos más aceite. ¡POR DIOS! ¿D?NDE vamos a conseguir MÁS ACEITE?

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Se van a PEGAR ¡Cuidado…CUIDADO! ¡Te he dicho que CUIDADOOOOOOO!

¿¿¿Pero qué haces??? ¡¡¡Que se rompeeeen!! ¡¡Pero mira la yema!!

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡DIOS MÍOOO!!!!!! ¡NUNCA me haces caso cuando cocinas! Nunca.

¡CUIDADO! Que saltan, ¿es que no lo ves? ¡¡¡¡ Se está manchando toda la cocina!!

PERO BAJA EL FUEGO y dales la vuelta ¡POR DIOS! ¡TRATA DE DARLES LA VUELTA! ¿Estás LOCOOOO? ¡Usa la CABEZA!

¿HAS ECHADO SAL??? ?chales sal. Sabes que sieeeeeeempre te olvidas de la sal.

La sal. La sal. USA LA SAL POR DIOS ¡¡¡LA SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!

El marido la mira con asombro:

Pero ¿se puede saber qué coño te pasa? ¿Crees que no sé freír un puto par de huevos?

La mujer responde tan tranquila:

PARA QUE TE ENTERES DE LO QUE ES CONDUCIR CONTIGO, ¡GILIPOLLAS!

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El pintor

Como viene siendo tradición en El Pito Doble, todos los martes y trece procuramos rescatar de la memoria (que coño de la memoria, del youtube) alguno de los mejores sketches de Martes y Trece para que nos echemos unas risas.

?ste del pintor fue, sin duda, uno de los más celebrados en su momento.

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Se veía venir…

Por si no habíamos tenido bastante tema de conversación con la Familia Real y el «¿te quieres callar?» ahora esto: ya se habrán enterado, Los Duques de Lugo se separan.

Unos dicen que porque la Infanta no aguantaba más los horrorosos modelitos de su marido y otros que éste no aguantaba a su mujer.

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Elena, ya te he dicho que me quiero separar, no me vas a convencer con sucias artimañas…

Este año me parece a mí que el discurso de solsticio de invierno de Rey va a ser de lo más esperado, lo mismo sale el hombre cagándose en todo lo que se menea…

Sin Navidad en Sevilla

Así es señores, este año, como somos así de modennos, nos quedamos sin Navidad en Sevilla. En su lugar celebraremos el Solsticio de Invierno, que es mucho más laico, progre y políticamente correcto para todos los sevillanos de distintas religiones, incluída la secta de las satanistas descalzas de las proezas del gato con botas en la profecía profética.

Y es que el iluminado XD del concejal Rodrigo Torrijos, de Izquierda Unida (mira ahora voy entendiendo algunas cosas sobre Llamazares…) y verdadero alcalde en la sombra de Sevilla pues tiene a Monteseirín bien cogido ya saben por donde, ha dicho el bonico:

Este año «pondremos alumbrado de solsticio de invierno» en vez de «de Navidad»

Navidad no, «solsticio de invierno». Así prefiere Antonio Rodrigo Torrijos, primer teniente de alcalde (IU) de Sevilla llamar a las fiestas que se avecinan. Les cambió el nombre ayer durante la presentación de la nueva iluminación navideña. (20Minutos)

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Yo, menos mal que me voy a pasar las Navidades en Graná, donde la Navidad sigue siendo Navidad, el alumbrado de Navidad alumbrado de Navidad y el alumbrado de solsticio de invierno un eufemismo para grinchs de poca monta.

El mejor regalo

Como os he dicho en el post anterior, hoy es el 2º cumpleaños de este blog, y en un día como hoy hemos recibido el mejor regalo posible:

Nuria, calzón blanco. 3,470 Kg y 49 cm. Guapa como la madre y con el encanto personal del pare

Eso es lo que dice textualmente el SMS que me acaba de mandar el orgulloso papá. Garrafa ha sido padre (de nuevo) y el Pito Doble está de fiesta. (:o)

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No, ésta no es Nuria, la nueva hija de Garrafa, pero bien podría haberlo sido :P

El Pitodoble cumple… ¡dos añitos!

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Hoy es nuestro 2º cumpleaños. Quién nos iba a decir a nosotros hace exactamente dos años, cuando éramos un blog que sólo leíamos los autores del mismo que llegaríamos a ser leídos por más gente y que llegaríamos a conocer gracias a él a amigos tan estupendos.

Mil gracias a todos los que nos seguís y que nos decís que conseguimos arrancaros alguna sonrisa.

Os tenemos preparada una sorpresita de 2º aniversario pero no hemos podido tenerla lista para hoy. Permanezcan atentos a sus pantallas, en breve la desvelaremos y regalaremos algo para celebrarlo

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